Cookies Can Make Angels Sing
Dinner is ready!
13yo grabs a chocolate chip cookie the size of his face and takes a big bite.
“Nah, Ah, ah. Put it down until after you eat your spaghetti.“
He obliges.
13 and I eat our spaghetti at the dining room table. 8yo begins eating his dinner in the next room, at the kitchen counter.
13 finishes his dinner, requests his cookie.
13 enters kitchen and asks, “Why’d you eat my cookie? You’re supposed to eat your spaghetti!”
8: “I didn’t eat your cookie.” And he eats his spaghetti, ignoring 13.
I sip my wine. We all know 8 consumed the cookie.
13 takes 8’s spaghetti bowl, scolding him for eating the cookie and lying about it.
8 goes rage. Jumps out of his chair and screams, “What the f***! You a**!” He attempts to bite 13’s forearm like it’s a giant turkey leg from the state fair.
In defense, 13 slaps 8 in the head. Headphones fly off 8’s head and crash to the floor. 8 runs to the staircase, screaming, sobbing, and proceeds to cry hard enough that he gags and throws up — the entire contents of his spaghetti-filled stomach. On the floor. On the rug.
I sip my wine.
I have yet to speak, primarily because this takes — Skill. Practice. Parenting Prowess. Responding to a level 5 eruption over a level 1 problem.
I chug my wine. I vow to myself never to buy cookies from the Costco Bakery again.
Everything gets cleaned up, the cherubs take their end-of-day showers, I call a family meeting. We convene and talk about how some days we say the wrong thing, some days we do the wrong thing, and sometimes that all happens at once, on the same day. We talk about how sometimes it feels good to say cuss words and enunciate every single letter like it’s the last chance we will ever have to enunciate. We discuss ways to diffuse, for next time. Stretchy stress balls are on the shopping list now.
8 cries, blows his nose 27 times, apologizes to 13, is truly remorseful.
I thank everyone for doing the best they can, even though it was terrible. Sometimes the best we can do or say is — terrible. But we can forgive, and make amends, and start over. Amen, bye bye.
8 is slow to move on, and asks why 13 hasn’t apologized to him. It’s noted that 13 reacted in self defense to 8’s attempt to bite him. It was justified.
8 bawls. Blows his nose 16 more times. It’s not fair. 13 didn’t get in trouble.
When the tissue box is empty, 8 recovers. We read a story about Hank Zipzer, a comical book series about the adventures of a 4th grade boy with dyslexia, just like 8.
He sleeps.
And the heavens rejoice and the angels sing their Hallelujahs, that there is forgiveness, renewal and starting again. This is us… Learning, adapting, messing it up, starting over.
